Critiquing A Painting

The following is what I wrote to Robert Genn, whose weekly letters I receive...this is a critique regarding a painting that he put on line, and what I thought of it, at the time I wrote... one must also realize, that tomorrow, I may have approached this totally differently than what I did today!!



Well.... Here goes one opinion (which tomorrow could very possibly be totally different!!!)


Personally, I would have started with laying in the basic value for the deeper foreground perhaps a tad move violet... that is in the shadow area, (to play against the sunlight...yellow... right behind it), which would push the middle to back ground into the sunlight... Getting this foundation laid in, before dealing with the spots of darks representing the trees on both side...this way, the color/value can be done enmasse, without having to ditz around those dark spots.

Getting the LARGER areas of value changes laid in,
will establish a strong foundation to work everything else up from!
THIS IS THE BUILDING BLOCK of the entire painting, regardless of the final details!

For design, maybe pushing the long horizontal far distant silhouetted trees closer to the top of the composition, so that this space was not equal to the shadowed middle ground (the yellow hill on the left, cutting across to the opposite side, right thru where the last of the “white” water can be seen).

ALSO, you almost have a Z composition...and would have been a tad stronger if the last little dark rock on center left was removed, (or not as dark as the one in the shadow! Right now it is pushing a hole in your sun light area) and the yellow hill, dropped down a tad lower as it travels to the right, would have pulled the eye along the z caused by the water, and cause an invisible diagonal starting at that dark spot 1/3 up from the bottom right! Right now, it is almost there, but its power is broken with that rock.

The foreground is nice, the values hold together well... With the nice 30-60 triangle of the front beige area, playing against the shadowed foreground... Is nice that the water cuts this shadowed area into 1/3 and 2/3... Creates a nice sense of movement... Also the top edge of this, curved on the left, and straight on the right (angle being a 45°... Which pulls the eye back into the composition!)... Also the offset of the dark on the right, and disappearing as it progresses across the mid foreground, on top of that 30-60 angle, is a nice touch! It also stops the movement of the water above, and redirects it to the opposite descending corner!

To create more shift from shadowed foreground to sunlit back ground, the color in the foreground could have had a tad more violet, so that the yellow of the sun light was more contrasty, without being actually a value change, make it a Complement color shift! One thing an artist does not want to do, is wash out their color, by lightening it...

This color shift can also be created by playing comlements against one another! (contrast can be created several ways: value changes, complements played against one another, clean color against tainted color, chalky color against pure color).

Also, to create a tad more movement from left to right, using that dark tree line... Several things could have been done, to create more interest, a nice additional touch might have been:

to have the trees more dense on one side than the other

(darker or temperature change or less detail from one side to the other,
by not having each side have the exact “caligraphy applied” to create the illusion of trees!)

2. Have the trees setting further back in the composition from one side to the other
thus making the VALUE and TEMPERATURE different from one side to the other


3. and perhaps to create a tad more interest in the immediate foreground,
having the water a tad wider as it exits the format...right now, it is almost the same width
as that of the water in mid-ground area.
IT IS NICE, that the water has more color, as it comes toward the viewer!!

4. It is nice that there is a difference between the two mid area sides...
the left being simple,
the right being broken up with more complicated shapes,
which demands the most interest/attention

The over all color, temperature and statement is pretty nice...
the simplicity of the foreground plays nice against the more complicated middle area,
which then sets nice against the subtle distant forest!

As it stands, it feels like it is still in the lay in stage...or that it is a nice “sketch”.

I do love the first lay in...it has a lot of movement...
Reminds me of a sumi painting!!!

And almost has more power than the final statement!
(but again, even in this stage...the “two main actors”
are both vying for the attention!! That of the trees!!! )

This “tree challenge” can be solved by:

either grouping the one side, and making the trees more massive,

(less broken values/shapes) or

2. pushing one side further back/pulling one side further forward
by
3. making one side darker and warmer, and more info/detail than the opposite side

Well, you asked for my 2 cents, and got a bucks worth!!
Was fun!!!

Thanks for the experience!


Elizabeth J Billups

Live Well ... Laugh Often ... Love Much!!!

http://www.bettybillups.com
http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/elizabeth-jean-billups.html
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Member of Plein Air Painters of America
PAPA Ad Chairman 1986-96

Author: 10 Projects En Plein Air Painting
(available from web site)

Let the artist show his world, the beauty that was born with him,
that never was before and never will be again.
Hermann Bahr

"Life may not be the party we hoped for,
but while we're here we should dance..."

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane,
by those who do not hear the music...."

"Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass...
it’s about learning how to dance in the rain. "
......................
“Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen
and thinking what nobody has thought”
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